"Here's to the Present and to the Future."

Sometimes, I hate that I hold in so many thoughts because once it happens again and again(the thing that bothers me), I just have to slowly pull away because I may say something I might regret. Once I think about these certain things over and over again, my mind just changes all around. Making hard decisions isn’t because of one thing. It could be because of something totally different, you don’t know. That you won’t probably ever know. It’s definitely not easy, but I think it’s best this way. At least for a little while.

When I mess up, I know. Sometimes, I just have to keep on going with my gut because in my mind, I know why I’m doing things. That it’s the best for some friendships because I certainly don’t want to mess up anything in the future. All I need to do right now, is keep quiet and separate. Just for a little.

I don’t mean anything by it, it’s just I need my head to clear a little. So much stress and then just a few thoughts here and there are so overwhelming.

I’m sorry if I give off the wrong impression. It’s just my internal feeling at this moment. It’s not easy, but I just have to keep going.

*Watching Jeapordy with Maryanne*

Category: Lord

Q: This prayer ends in, “And deliver us from evil.”

Me and my sister: “AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!”

Contestant: “What is the Lord’s Prayer?”

Alex - That is correct!

*Me and Maryanne stare at each other.*

Me: Ate May, you need to go to church.

Maryanne: Hey, you too!

Haha oh my. My grandma is probably looking down at us shaking her head and saying, “Oh my, darlings.”

Spoke to my lola today in the Philippines through Face Time. So far, she’s definitely cheered me up. Just speaking to her made me so happy, and it just cleared my mind for a while from this week. She blew kisses and whenever I smiled she said, “She has no eyes…” and then starts laughing. She said it in tagalog. It was funny. Cause she is the same way. I have the smallest eyes in my family. I think I got them from her, and I’m glad. She is so kind and loving.

 I’m telling you. God blessed me so much with my family. I hope that one day, I can grow old and be just as kind and loving to my children and grandchrildren and great-grandchildren just as my Lola Chen in the Philippines and my Mama (rip 4.24.09).

 If only I could be in the Philippines with her and the rest of my family. Just to get away. Just for a little while. I need to be with them. I want to spend time with her as much as possible, as she gets older.

Always love your loved ones. Remind them how much you love them and appreciate them. You never know when that time comes.

I love my family.